We’ve all been there. Your partner wants to be intimate, they’re ready and wanting and willing, and all you can think about is how bulgy and un-perfect your body is, and that your partner will see your rolls of fat and suddenly think ‘ewwww…gross…"

Of course they won’t think that. Because a) they love you, and b) your grossness is all in your head.

Let me say that again, even if you are at your heaviest, your least-rested, most exhausted, greasiest, frumpiest state, you are not gross. You are a sexy goddess, and if you don’t feel like that’s true, please keep reading. (And maybe check out this post, too where I share my crying fit over feeling fat…)

Did you know, that they less sex you have, the less sexy you’re statistically likely to have? (wait, it really will shrivel up if I don’t use it?) And the opposite is true too, the more sex you’re having, the more it’ll be on your mind, and the more active your libido be will be. But how do you get the ball rolling? Especially if you’re dealing with PPD.

The answer is one word. And it used to be my most hated word. Are you ready for it? Scroll down.

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here it comes…

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Exercise.

Yup. Stupid old exercise. Sorry. I mean, it’s the WORST, right!?

Actually, it’s not. Hear me out…

Positive Movement Practice - a new way of thinking about fitness

I admire people who can maintain a workout schedule and a training program that benefits their lives, makes them feel good, and doesn’t ruin their psyche. But I am definitely not one of those people! NOPE. Fuck that.

After years of distractive behaviour, I finally learned how to allow my body to just be. For six months, I stretched in the morning, walked when I felt like it, and slept a lot. In the six months following I practiced yoga a few days a week. Side note - Yoga- has been found to be especially related to good sex. This may be because yoga teaches you to be fully immersed in the present moment, or maybe because it teaches you some sexy bendy positions?

Anyway, I started to create a “positive movement practice” in my life, and let me tell you, it’s fucking amazing.

I do what I want to do and it helps me maintain a body I feel good in without the self-loathing drill sergeant rules that a workout schedule or training program brings me.

Positive movement practise consists of doing things that you enjoy doing, but just so happens to also be “workouts.” No training program. No weights. No stupid gym outfit that doesn’t fit right. Sometimes just a calendar of all the activities going on in your area and a list of things you can do on your own time. What you do on any given day depends on how you’re feeling, what the weather’s like, or how your day is flowing.

For example... this Monday, I dressed in a bra and panties and danced like a stripper in the kitchen while I was eating yogurt like those girls in the commercials... “mmm.”

Tuesday I took the subway and a half hour walk there and back to a coffee shop, by myself on my way to a therapy appointment!

Wednesday I mopped the shit out of the house/ cleaned and folded a fuck ton of laundry. I was sweating my ass off!

Thursday, I went for a little jog, by jog I mean “run ONLY when a car was in sight to look like I jog.” The only thing I wanted to do was listen to a new album from my favourite singer! 

All of the things on my list are things I like, not daunting things I think I should do. Life is too short to do things you don’t want to do, with people you don’t enjoy for results that won’t cure you of the unhappiness you have about your body. Bonus: exercise has been not only to enhance sexual function but also to be an effective treatment for depression and anxiety. Some studies have found that exercise is equivalent to some antidepressant medications but without the side effects, including sexual ones, such as diminished orgasms.

So think of a few activities that you enjoy, and that will get your moving that you can incorporate into your week. You fucking deserve to feel amazing!

Let me know in the comments what your favourite positive movement practices, and how you keep your libido up!